I am beginning to get a little stressed. Forgive me that all I ever write about lately is my pregnancy, but there are so many elements to be taken care of before the little one even arrives that I feel completely overwhelmed sometimes. Like, in a panic, break down into tears "what are we going to do" overwhelmed. For example, take what happened this morning. Jeff merely *mentioned* the idea of us keeping my desk in the nursery when the baby arrives because we don't really have any room for it anywhere else, and I completely lost it..."what a stupid idea, I can't work at home with the baby in the nursery, I don't want the baby to have to share his/her room with me!!!" (imagine all this being screeched out, my face becoming hotter and redder as the ridiculousness of the idea continued to infuriate me). There's no reason for me to go off at him like that for merely making a suggestion. No sane reason, anyway. But prior to that incident this morning, I had spent about an hour researching childcare for my unborn child (a child who might be a daughter or might be a son; we don't even know yet, but since childcare is so sought after in this day and age, there are possible waiting lists, a worse possibility of the center having no room, and all of this must be determined nearly a year in advance, before I'm even ready to imagine myself dropping my baby off at daycare.)
And childcare is not inexpensive. It's another piece of the adulthood budget that we have yet to figure out...how are we going to get there and how can we ensure we're making the right decision? Added to the stress is the fact that my face is breaking out like a 14-year-old's and the fact that I still feel unattractive in addition to weird about my growing, still-not-quite-popped-out belly, my constant absentmindedness (when I'm used to having such an excellent memory) and all the other daily stresses that come with work, friends, relationships, etc. Sometimes my head feels like it might explode (certain days from excitement, others from sheer panic). And what I want right now is a relaxing glass of wine and I can't even have that. Grrrrrr.
1 comment:
FWIW, I would have had the exact same reaction when I was pregnant. The hormones do make you insane, forgetful, emotional, irrational...basically, a mess. Pregnancy brain is awful and mom brain isn't much better. Words that I used to know escape me. I can tell Jon something and 2 minutes later tell him the exact same thing. It happens and you learn to accept your newly begotten shortcomings because your baby is the result of it all (granted, you don't have to be happy about the lost brain power). If you need any help, any advice, I will be happy to help you. I remember the days of panic attacks. Once you know the baby's gender, at least planning/registering will be easier (although it doesn't help the daycare dilemma). Big hugs! It will all work itself out!
Post a Comment