I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection as we head into the holiday season this year. My uncle’s birthday was on Christmas. My birthday is on December 13th. He took his life the day after my 30th birthday on December 14, 2009. I've always loved this time of year and everything it offers: the anticipation, the lights, the crisp air and family get-togethers. The wine, gift giving, thinking of others and attempting to make their days merry and bright. But since 2009, the holidays have been slightly bittersweet. I recently told Ashlyn (she turns 12 on 12/29—another reason I love December) that Uncle Billy’s birthday was on Christmas and she asked, “Is that why you sometimes seem sad on Christmas morning?” I never realized my expression betrayed my feelings, but I'm sure there are times that I’ve been contemplative or lost in thought.

This year, I thought about all I’ve accomplished in my uncle’s honor. The silver lining is that this work helps other people and I am grateful for that. Not that he would want to be remembered for how he died (because I know without a doubt that as a private person, he absolutely wouldn't), but I think he would be proud that I'm helping to save others who are struggling. So this year, I thought I would do something a little different. In the spirit of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”, I pulled together a list of everything I’ve done in his honor and quantified it:

· $58,335 raised for this year’s Out of the Darkness walk that I co-chaired (goal: $25,000)
· $7,706 personally raised for AFSP/suicide prevention
· 18 months (and counting) on the CT chapter of the AFSP board
· 7 Out of the Darkness walks
· 4 years served on the Niantic Out of the Darkness Walk Committee
· 3 Talk Saves Lives presentations delivered to Aetna/CVS Health employees and customers
· 2 successful fundraisers at the Niantic Public House
· 1 year as walk Co-Chair
· 1 Mental Health First Aid certification course
· 1 Narcan/QPR certification course
· 1 invite to the AFSP Chapter Leadership Conference in Houston January 2022
· Countless lives enhanced or saved by this invaluable information and organization;
· and a partridge in a pear tree

December and the holidays can be a really difficult time for some people. Reach out. Have a real conversation and ask them how they are feeling. Earlier in November, Taylor Swift re-released her album “Red” (on her terms). If you have a moment, listen to the lyrics of “Forever Winter” which portray how it feels when you’re watching someone struggle mentally and emotionally:

"All this time I didn’t know
You were breakin’ down
I’d fall to pieces on the floor
If you weren’t around
Too young to know it gets better
I’ll be summer sun for you forever
Forever winter if you go…"

Go be someone’s summer sun this holiday season. Reach out. I promise you, you will make a difference. Happy holidays, everyone. #mentalhealth #holidays #grateful