Well I am back from Open Enrollment in D.C. which proved to be an even more worthwhile experience than I had originally imagined. Being there during and after the election was both meaningful and interesting for me (despite the fact that only weeks prior to the trip I was whining about being overpoliticized and about the constant TV coverage). On Wednesday the 5th I had a health fair at the Department of Justice from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. I left the hotel in the morning with a sense of optimism and an overall lighter feeling because I felt that change really was on the horizon for the first time since I was 20. I am looking forward to real action as opposed to rhetoric in the upcoming months and years, but this election was definitely a step in the right direction. After all, America has endured eight years of incompetence and uncertainty, and I know we have all felt the ramifications. I passed a number of newspaper vendors on the way to the Metro but didn't have room to carry one in addition to my health fair materials. I should have purchased one while I had the chance--after my meeting ended, they were completely sold out across the city and even in Alexandria, where my hotel was located.

After the health fair, I decided to follow Pennsylvania Avenue down to the Capitol Building to take some pictures and observe people's reactions. For the most part, people seemed subdued which I thought was strange...however, I believe there had been a lot of celebrating the night before, so it may have just been due to lack of energy. About halfway to the Capitol, I noticed a long line of people standing outside in front of a building, taking photos and video, and reading whatever exhibit was in front of them. I looked up and realized that I was at the Newseum in downtown D.C. Apparently the Newseum displays 730 front pages and headlines from 66 different countries on the sidewalk in front of the actual building daily, and I happened to be there for an unprecedented day. I captured whatever I could with my camera but it would be difficult to pin down the excitement and the passion that seemed to seep from the people around me in front of those headlines. I loved being in the middle of it all, especially since I am an avid news reader and watcher.

But of course the day wouldn't be complete without a Tara anecdote. I continued walking down to the Capitol, by one of the reflecting pools, past an art museum, to a park bench right outside the building. I called Jeff and relayed my excitement over the Newseum (definitely a place I want to actually check out the next time I am in the area) and then hung up when he had to take care of something for work. I decided to walk through the grounds a bit before returning to the street, and as soon as I walked under the first tree, I felt something heavy and wet land in my hair. "Hmmm," I thought. "Please don't let that be what I think it was." I reached up and touched my head and hair and of course it was green bird crap and I nearly lost it because I had no napkins or tissues or anything that would be conducive to getting the crap out of my hair. A token to remember the day by. At that moment, I wasn't thrilled, but people do claim that it's good luck, so we will see what happens in the coming months. As my friend Sarah says, I am cautiously optimistic.

Ahhh, a lazy Saturday. Finally! It seems like every weekend since Labor Day has been completely booked with plans from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. But right now I am still in my sweats and hoodie and it's nearly 3 p.m.--love it. For the most part, I am incredibly happy to be out with my friends, driving across the state for parties, meeting people for lunch or dinner or drinks, etc., but every once in a while it becomes exhausting. I definitely needed a break, and this cloudy, dreary, dull-looking day is the perfect kind of day for sleeping in (also a rarity), lounging around watching TV, and cleaning the house. Also the perfect day to update this blog which I feel like I never have the time for.

So what's new since I last wrote...Jeff and I celebrated our second anniversary (already!!) on October 14th. We had dinner at Bravo Bravo in downtown Mystic and then stopped by the Hilton where we had our reception. Since it was a Tuesday night, the place was relatively quiet, so we went to the front desk and asked if they wouldn't mind letting us into the ballroom. They were so pleasant about it and opened the doors, turned on all the lights, and let us wander around. In typical Tara fashion, I had my tiara with me and placed it on my head for a photo opp. with Jeff. Being in that room made me feel an array of emotions from nostalgic to wistful to happy and to melancholy. It's hard to believe that I spent a mere six hours of my life in that room and yet it created such an amazing impression. I will never forget that day and I hope that we continue to celebrate it with as much enthusiasm each passing year.

The next few weeks at work should be fairly entertaining. This Tuesday, Nate and I are going to pick out our pumpkin for our team's pumpkin carving contest that is scheduled for Thursday...then on Wednesday my new team is having a team lunch...on Thursday we're having pizza with my current team and then doing the carving outside on the picnic tables...and on Friday the entire department will be judging our pumpkins for the winning entry. These are only a few of the reasons why I love working there so much. The following week (from the 3rd through the 6th), I am flying down to D.C. to assist with open enrollment meetings. So far I have one meeting scheduled for Wednesday at the Department of Justice which is right downtown. The meeting is from 9-2 and then I plan on changing into comfortable clothes and checking out all of the monuments again. It's been over six years since Jeff and I went there in the spring of 2002.

I will also have the opportunity to telework two days a week starting when I come back from D.C. I am really excited about this because although gas prices have started falling, I have managed to put over 10,000 miles on my car since I bought it at the end of April. It will be interesting to see what a difference working at home makes not only in our budget for the month, but also in the extra time that I will gain from not having to commute 2 hours a day. When I sign off my computer at 4:15, I can go directly downstairs to work out on the elliptical instead of getting in my car and driving for an hour first. I will be working at home on Tuesdays and Fridays so stay tuned for how all of that is going.

I managed to reconnect with two people (both were important to me at one time in my life) last week on facebook. I realize that it might sound lame because facebook has become synonymous with lazy communication and lack of human interaction, but it certainly does serve its purpose in allowing people to network and touch base once again. The first person was one of my best friends in 6th grade that I admired. We were only close for about a year, but I think when you are 11 and 12 years old, you truly gain insight into the person you will eventually become, and therefore those friends definitely help create who you are. She lives a few states away now, and we wrote messages back and forth and then I mentioned that my dad burned a bunch of our home videos onto DVDs last year, and that I have her singing in our living room as well as a solo she did in our 6th grade concert on DVD if she wanted copies. I don't recall her parents every videotaping school events, but since my dad taped EVERYTHING, I thought maybe she would be interested in looking at moments long gone by. I was right--she was so excited at the prospect of seeing her younger self, and she said her husband would be, too. I couldn't stop grinning for the rest of the day because I know how important all of those videos are to me (and I constantly thank my parents), so to give someone a piece of their life to them, I don't know, I just couldn't think of a better gift to give, especially after all these years.

The other person that I reconnected with was one of my 4th grade students from when I was student teaching at my own former elementary school. She is a great kid, and I saw her photo in my hometown newspaper this month for receiving a $1,000 scholarship. She is in 9th grade now, so I figured she might be on facebook. I sent her a message to congratulate her, figuring that at 14 she would most likely be too cool to write back to an old student teacher (especially four years later!) but I was happily surprised by her message:

"oh my goodness!!!!!oh my gosh i miss you so much!! I love Holy Cross it's awsome and yes I am doing dance. Trying to get better and better everyday. My teacher says im improving so much. Holy Cross is a lot of fun. I made so many new friends. Caitlyn and I had another student teacher together who was so funny but we like you better. Christina goes to Westover now and Lumbardh is at Woodland. Hmmm who else? Jamie is doing good too she also goes to Woodland. I can't believe you guys are married. that is so cool!! I wish I lived near the beach, your so lucky. I was just thinking about you the other day and how you made that desert for us and showed the layers of the earth, and how christina went up on stage to sing. How are you? Are you teaching? Your class can't be nearly as fun as ours was. haha I'm just kidding im sure it is."

How cute is that? I know that I am not meant to be a teacher because I really love what I do now and I can see myself being very successful at it, but this part of teaching is the one aspect of it that I will miss. There is no greater reward in life than to make a profound and positive impact on someone. She said she actually thought of me the other day...and I haven't seen her since the summer of 2004. That really is the point of life, I think, to truly make a difference to as many people as possible in our short time here.

I am so tired of politics. And economics. And debates. But they are practically everywhere and nearly impossible to escape. Of course I care about what happens on November 4th-who doesn't-but since February, some form of political news show or parody has graced my television screen thanks to my politico-loving husband. From Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews, to Tina Fey and Sarah Palin, from Barack Obama to John McCain, and Hillary to Bill and Keith Olbermann...I've had enough.

Just a few minutes ago I had to walk out of my living room because I can't stand watching debates, or any kind of competition for that matter (i.e., ice skating at the Olympics--I find it stressful waiting for the triple lutz to turn into a triple klutz with a crash at the end). Real life continues to play itself out daily, but it seems like no one is taking the time to notice. There is more to life than the Dow Jones industrial average, than the plentiful "drill baby drill" Sarah Palin speeches (if you Google "Sarah Palin quotes", you will find 2,630,000 results), than the constant bickering between Republicans and Democrats. Call me selfish, because I guess in many ways, I am, but I don't always view things in a high level fashion; if it doesn't pertain directly to me, I become increasingly stubborn and disinterested. And this is not to say that I am not going to vote (because of course I am) or that I don't have an opinion on these subjects or on the politicians themselves (I do). However, these subjects are not all I think about. I would rather hear about a friend's problem, read a stimulating book, watch almost anything else on TV, go on the elliptical machine, and play with my cat, than get caught up in the next few weeks of drama which I am sure will only escalate as we approach Election Day. I am not interested in the barrage of emails I've been receiving that are anti-Palin, pro-Obama, pro-women, put your name on this list, sign here, do that, join us, whatever. I think that politics are a personal issue, and should stay that way.

That said, in the spare few hours that I have been able to wrangle the TV (just kidding, Jeffrey :), I of course have gotten sucked into all the "Drama in Real Life"-type shows on the Investigation Discovery channel. What a surprise, right? I can seriously sit through 48 Hours: Hard Evidence, Extreme Forensics, Life of a Crime, and Wicked Attraction for hours at a time. I guess because all of the stories involve real people and surreal stories. I am fascinated by the victim in most cases and the murderer in others (Derrick Robie and Eric Smith, for example). I wonder if my strange interest stems from the Beaudoin murder of 1977. It happened next door to my childhood home...before I was born, obviously, but my parents had just met the children the night before they were killed when they came over to see if they could play in our backyard. Extremely eerie. My parents were one of the few couples to call 911 when they woke to the crackling of fire and smoke early that July morning. (Lorne J. Acquin killed 9 people--8 of them children--when all was said and done, and then set fire to the house). I guess I always want to understand people, to get to the bottom of who they are and what makes them act the way they do...but these shows never really get me any closer.

Well, looking back on this entry, I guess I am actually the weird one. I know that the majority of America is probably watching the debate right now, and weighing their options regarding Election Day while I am blogging about child murders and creepy TV shows. I'm not even sure if this has been coherent or if it makes a point at all, but I was overdue in posting, mostly because my mind has been so cluttered with politics and Newsweek and SNL sketches. I will be back soon with more about my own life as promised, but until then good night.

I love rainy days and taking walks with close friends (Holly) and the Yale Co-op bookstore and Kate Spade organizers ($75.00) and pencil cases ($45.00) and adorable (cliche) magnets that read "Be the change you want to see in the world" and "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." I love cute tan J.Crew jackets with ruffles that cost $198 for no apparent reason, and I love expensive medium chai lattes that cost $3.89 when a hazelnut coffee is merely $0.90. In this economy, it's difficult to find money to spend on groceries or on a haircut (I am probably at least 2 weeks overdue on that front), never mind for indulgences such as the ones listed above. I don't need Vera Bradley thank you cards to adequately thank my loved ones, I don't need to buy every book that I read (what? the library?) and yet I do. Lately, Jeff and I have been working together to find ways to cut costs and save more since this economy is negatively affecting our usual budget. September is our trial month--we are doing our best to be frugal and go out as infrequently as possible, and to date we have been fairly successful. We're not Ralph Waldo Emersons by any stretch of the imagination, but we realize that to live and still feel productive in today's world, we have to take it down a level. So if that means we can't always go out during the week when friends ask, or if we just order one martini instead of four :), it's nothing personal. It's just business.

Conversations with the best 9-year-old ever

I've known Megan since she was 2 years old; her parents moved into the house across from my parents' when I was up at UConn. She and her younger sisters, Caity and Norah, are like my little sisters. Megan has always been incredibly smart for her age...she talks to people as if she herself were an adult, and she even has the ability to absorb information and vocabulary like you wouldn't believe. Just recently she figured out how to instant message me through her dad's email address on MSN Messenger. See for yourself what an amazing kid she is:

Tara says: are you excited about turning 10? I remember I was scared to enter the double digits.

Megan says: not really I feel a little sad

Tara says: yeah I think I felt nostalgic, too...like my childhood is going away. boooo

Megan says: mine too, faster than you think

Tara says: exactly. but you'll have a lot of fun these next 10 years..and 5th grade was one of my favorite times in childhood, too.

Megan says: really mine was 3rd

Tara says: oh yeah? what was your favorite part of 3rd grade?

Megan says: my teacher, Mr.Senich

….... a few minutes later.......

Tara says: well I can let you go watch TV if you want

Megan says: no no its my turn to go on the computer

Tara says: okay, I just don't want you to get bored of me

Megan says: are you kidding i never get board of you

Tara says: aww thanks!

Megan says: :)

...............

Tara says: hey have you read any good books lately? I'm always interested in hearing about them to see if I read them when I was your age.

Megan says: yes im reading the sisterhood

Tara says: yay! really? maybe I can take you to see the 2nd movie

Tara says: have you seen the first one?

Megan says: no

Tara says: well I have it on DVD, I can bring it home next time I'm at my parents' house

Megan says: please

Tara says: definitely, we can watch it together, make some popcorn and everything

Megan says: maybe we could have a movie night

Tara says: exactly!

Megan says: :)

Moments later...

Megan says: im having a party friday

Tara says: is that the pool party?

Megan says: yes

Tara says: how many kids are going?

Megan says: and instead of presents i want 8 kids to write checks to my friend Alyssa

Tara says: is she sick?

Megan says: she has cancer

Tara says: oh how terrible--when did she find out?

Megan says: ya but it is treatable, she found out this May

Tara says: oh thank goodness it's treatable...how scary, though

Megan says: ya, she lost all her hair from the treatments

Tara says: aww, does she have a wig?

Megan says: yes, but she does not wear it in the summer

Tara says: too uncomfortable and hot

Megan says: she went to camp for kids with cancer

Tara says: have kids been nice to her since she found out she has cancer?

Tara says: did she go to the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp?

Megan says: yes, they recently had a ziti dinner for her at the Firehouse

Tara says: did your family go?

Megan says: no, we made a donation

Tara says: well it all certainly counts

Tara says: I just volunteered at a camp for kids with cancer; I'm just wondering if it's the same one Alyssa went to.

Megan says: oh really, I am not sure what camp she went to

Tara says: yeah that is a famous one, and it's in Connecticut...it might be the one.

Megan says: she went to a sleep away camp

Tara says: Well I hope she gets well, and that your friends are able to contribute a lot of checks to you on Friday that you can give to her.

Tara says: yep, it was a sleepaway camp

Megan says: I'll ask her when she gets home

Tara says: we put together the bunk beds in the cabins for the kids

Tara says: definitely do that and ask her about the camp--it's an awesome place.

Megan says: I will. I have to go now. I need to create my invitations so mom can mail in the morning. Good night! We will plan on the movie night

Tara says: okay sounds great...have a good night! I will talk to you soon

Megan says: bye

Note: You can't tell me she's not amazing. I talked to her mom tonight on the phone to ask if it was okay to have a "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" movie night with her for her 10th birthday, and her mom told me that it really was Megan's idea to donate all of her "birthday presents" to Alyssa. I love her!!!

Holy crap. I don't think I could possibly feel much worse. Too much sangria. Wine. Peaches. Apples. Lemons. Limes. Roxette. Boyz II Men. Don Henley. I am sad now, and exhausted. I just tried to call Jeff but he's at the Radiohead concert. I am sitting here completely, well, inebriated for lack of a better word. I want to go home but the problem is that I AM home!! I am not driving anywhere so it should be okay but noooooooo. I want Jeffrey. Oh I want him to take care of me noooowwww. So pathetic. Ahhhh "Ray of Light" by Madonna. Appropriate. But still not making me feel any better. Want pajamas. And other comfy things. Like blankets. And someone to brush my teeth for me. And oh wow just want to go to sleep. Stupid Tara. Too mucccch sangria. Too much wine. I want Kara to call me so I know she is safe. What the hell. I just re-read this and don't remember writing any of it even though I just thought of it 5 minutes ago. Madonna is "appropriate"? Did I say that? I want dinner. I told Rachel I wanted Chinese food. She replied with "LOL." I didn't think it was that funny. What the hell am I going to eat, really? And my face is sunburned. Ohhhhh. Want to sleep night night. Crying from Aerosmith is on.

Nice. P.S. Kara just texted me. She's home safely. Yay. Pass out now for sure.

Sometimes I don't find my daily life to be all that exciting which would explain the lack of posts recently. It's like, hmmmm...wake up, feed the cat, brush my teeth, shower, get dressed, say goodbye to Jeff, listen to Coldplay on the way to work, get coffee, arrive at work, say hi to Steve, Mark, and Melissa (cubemates), talk about the cat (still a new subject), respond to RFPs, harass Diana on IM, ask Nate questions about our programs, go to crazy busy cafeteria for lunch, respond to RFPs, drive home, feed the cat, say hi to Jeff, go on elliptical, shower (again), read, watch TV, go to bed, repeat.

Occasionally I'll have a meaningful conversation during the week but most of my day consists of witty banter and lots of eye rolling (me). It's fun but not truly worth writing about. Although...in my book club, we just finished reading "Bitter is the New Black" which is basically a memoir about this girl's life during her two year period of unemployment. I told the other girls that I would love to be published someday, but that my journals throughout the years were written about mundane subjects (similar to the tone of this blog).

How do you take a 7th grade break-up and make it resonate with your audience? Do you have to embellish certain details or even fabricate parts of your "memoir" to capture the reader's imagination? When I write about my life, it seems false to me to add intrigue that wasn't originally there...for example, my parents have a happy marriage. Jeff and I never broke up in the eight years that we've been together. I went through the same teen drama and crappy parent/teacher conference conversations as the next person, but does that truly provide valid material for publication? Well, it's my life so I would love to think that it does, but when it comes down to it, despite all my own quirks and experiences, I am merely living a similar existence to many other women out there.

I really don't know why I have always had this desire for people to read about my life. It makes no sense to me because in general, I'm not big on being the center of attention. In fact, I hate when everyone is staring at me or giving me compliments (really, my face turns the color salmon, as someone described it just yesterday). When I read my old journal entries, I see a bright, observant girl--somewhat of a dork in the earlier years, but I guess my favorite part is that reading the journals allows me to follow this "character" through life as she experiences things for the first time. Even though I am the "character", I am far removed from her because she is not truly who I am anymore (if that makes sense).

I've mentioned before that what is real fascinates me...people's thoughts, what drives them, what makes them crazy...and as we all know, my obsession with all things real occasionally gets me into trouble. And anyway I'm not quite sure where I'm going with all of this, but I have to keep writing or I'll lose the ability altogether. I used to be better at it. My pen used to fly furiously across the blank pages, and I miss that feeling of release that used to come from pouring my heart out in my journal. That could be the other reason I want people to read it; I know it's supposed to be for you, but I put so much time and energy (literally years) into writing it that it seems pitiful to just throw it all away.

I don't know. It's a constant debate, and not one that's going to be settled tonight.