Irish coffee personifies everything about my honeymoon to me. One of my favorite moments in Ireland took place on our second to last day in Dublin. Jeff and I had spent the entire day trekking through the city in the absolute pouring rain, my hood squinched up around my face and both of our jeans soaked up to our knees. The first ten days of our trip had been been absolutely beautiful, but of course we had to experience a torrential downpour at some point or it wouldn't have felt authentically Irish. Since it was late October, of course the rain was freezing cold as it pelted our heads and sloshed up against our sneakers...we had to seek coverage under random buildings where homeless people huddled in their blankets among their belongings.
We found McDaid's pub on Harry Street just in time--a longtime literary hangout of some of Ireland's writers and playwrights from the 1940s. It was the coziest little bar with such an intimate feel. Dim lighting, candles flickering on the tables, five or six tables pushed up against the side of the wall, and my warm Irish coffee. I recall sitting there with Jeff's arm around me with the rain and wind crazily howling outside and thinking, "This is it. This is love."
Tonight we went to Hanafin's, the local Irish pub in New London. I ordered an Irish coffee and Jeff ordered his standard Magner's hard cider. He put his arm around me and we quietly observed people and sang along to the music as the band played loudly. The Tullamore whiskey warmed my throat and I thought back to Ireland and how content we were then...and I realized that I love him even more now. Whether we're in Ireland or Connecticut, it doesn't matter, because when I put my arms around him, he feels like home.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Creepy.
Last night I slept over my parents' house because my mom and I were driving to a baby shower in Concord, MA this morning. The bed in my old room is actually the same bed that they bought me when I was three. The same bed that they hooked a yellow gingham guardrail to so that I didn't roll out and flop onto the floor. The same bed that had been moved from our old house to our new house and also positioned throughout various places in my bedroom over the decades. Same mattress, too. So you can imagine it's fairly stiff and uncomfortable after...let's see...25 years.
Anyway, I spent the entire night tossing and turning, dreaming about work and Jeff and rain and some strange hotel and three caterpillars on my pillow (in the dream, not for real!). I woke up this morning and wondered "What the hell could caterpillars possibly represent in a dream?" I looked it up online and I don't think I could have been more surprised by the accuracy of the definition:
Caterpillar
To see a caterpillar in your dream, signifies a stage in your own personal growth and development where you are on your way, but have not yet reached your goal.
Now I am not one to believe everything that I read, but that thought has certainly been going through my mind lately, both inside my head and out. I'm just trying to figure out how my mind was subconsciously able to transform that thought into three caterpillars and send them to my dream hotel pillow. Very random. The brain is a tricky and interesting thing.
Anyway, I spent the entire night tossing and turning, dreaming about work and Jeff and rain and some strange hotel and three caterpillars on my pillow (in the dream, not for real!). I woke up this morning and wondered "What the hell could caterpillars possibly represent in a dream?" I looked it up online and I don't think I could have been more surprised by the accuracy of the definition:
Caterpillar
To see a caterpillar in your dream, signifies a stage in your own personal growth and development where you are on your way, but have not yet reached your goal.
Now I am not one to believe everything that I read, but that thought has certainly been going through my mind lately, both inside my head and out. I'm just trying to figure out how my mind was subconsciously able to transform that thought into three caterpillars and send them to my dream hotel pillow. Very random. The brain is a tricky and interesting thing.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I'm the only one who cried yesterday afternoon when our "class" packed up all of the materials that we've acquired over the past eight weeks--binders, notebooks, handouts, Valentine's Day cards, pens, highlighters, candy, photos--and headed upstairs to the fourth floor to find our individual cubicles. It was embarrassing to say the least, but thankfully I've been with these people long enough for them to know that I'm not usually a basket case, and that if I'm crying it's probably for a good reason. I seriously must be the most sensitive person I know which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's definitely something to contend with. I become attached to everything and everyone and every experience, and for some reason I find transitions hard even though I know that this is only going to continue to be a wonderful experience.
I can't say enough about the quality of the people that I work with. Our class has become really tight which I think is only natural. We've worked together, bounced ideas off of each other, complimented each other, provided moral support or a shoulder to cry on when things became frustrating (no, I'm not the only one who cried during the course of the eight weeks! ;), and ate lunch together every single day. I know that they all have my back because yesterday we were at happy hour after officially moving to the floor, and I got teary again. Wait, wait, there's a good reason for this. Remember I had written that there were only four of us ICs, and that we had been banished to one room towards the beginning of training without a Survivor buff? Well, obviously the four of us stuck together and developed this amazing rapport...through humor, teasing, assisting, and once again, bouncing ideas back and forth. We found out last Friday that Alan ("Ace") is moving to the Hartford office. Alan is hilarious. He provides the comic relief in every situation, he is the one who continuously called me Tarabyte even when it became less popular, and his key phrase whenever I would respond correctly to a question or give him advice was "You're good. You're good" which he delivered in such a deadpan way while pointing at me. Anyway, he had to leave HH early to go to another function, and I became teary. Alan gave me a hug, Emily kept saying "She's so sweet, I love this girl," I heard someone else say that I care so much about each and every person, and Samantha told us that I was making everyone else cry. Frank leaned over to me and patted my head and told me that I'm a sweet girl for caring so much...I mean these people are so supportive, and the fact that they were truly there for me meant a lot.
I stayed out later than mostly everyone and danced with some of the people who are already established on the floor at Aetna. They were so friendly and accepting, and even took my hand to lead me out to the dance floor. I think that every career move I've made so far in my life has brought me out of my shell a bit more. The Tara I knew when I was growing up would never have been confident enough to dance in front of people, to tease them, and to just let go. But this move especially has allowed me to grow as a person, both personally and professionally. I am incredibly happy and satisfied with my job in a way that I never thought possible. I have found the place where I belong and I have found an amazing group of colleagues and friends as well.
When I was still at the bar (after a lot the people from my class left), I received a voicemail from Diana asking if I was driving home or if I was still there, or if I was okay...and she said that she wanted to know that I was all right, or that she'd worry about me. Then around midnight I received a text from Edgar saying "I hope you are ok. I should have stayed" and another one around 1:00, Samantha texted me and said "Are you okay?" They are awesome. Each and every one of them. I can't believe how much I have come to care for all of them in such a short time. I didn't even know these people at Christmas or New Year's...and now they are so important in my life.
I think that's all for now. Unfortunately I have a pretty bad sore throat this morning and I have a feeling it's the beginning of a cold. But here's to a relaxing, rainy day of hanging out in sweats, a long-sleeved t-shirt and my messy hair pulled back by a headband. I plan on catching up on all of the TV shows I missed over the past week (working on our trade show and studying for the 3-hour final exam!), and maybe going to CVS later to get some meds. Other than that, I've got nothing but that's fine with me. I'm content to just sit back and relax. It was a long, challenging, and wonderful eight weeks.
I can't say enough about the quality of the people that I work with. Our class has become really tight which I think is only natural. We've worked together, bounced ideas off of each other, complimented each other, provided moral support or a shoulder to cry on when things became frustrating (no, I'm not the only one who cried during the course of the eight weeks! ;), and ate lunch together every single day. I know that they all have my back because yesterday we were at happy hour after officially moving to the floor, and I got teary again. Wait, wait, there's a good reason for this. Remember I had written that there were only four of us ICs, and that we had been banished to one room towards the beginning of training without a Survivor buff? Well, obviously the four of us stuck together and developed this amazing rapport...through humor, teasing, assisting, and once again, bouncing ideas back and forth. We found out last Friday that Alan ("Ace") is moving to the Hartford office. Alan is hilarious. He provides the comic relief in every situation, he is the one who continuously called me Tarabyte even when it became less popular, and his key phrase whenever I would respond correctly to a question or give him advice was "You're good. You're good" which he delivered in such a deadpan way while pointing at me. Anyway, he had to leave HH early to go to another function, and I became teary. Alan gave me a hug, Emily kept saying "She's so sweet, I love this girl," I heard someone else say that I care so much about each and every person, and Samantha told us that I was making everyone else cry. Frank leaned over to me and patted my head and told me that I'm a sweet girl for caring so much...I mean these people are so supportive, and the fact that they were truly there for me meant a lot.
I stayed out later than mostly everyone and danced with some of the people who are already established on the floor at Aetna. They were so friendly and accepting, and even took my hand to lead me out to the dance floor. I think that every career move I've made so far in my life has brought me out of my shell a bit more. The Tara I knew when I was growing up would never have been confident enough to dance in front of people, to tease them, and to just let go. But this move especially has allowed me to grow as a person, both personally and professionally. I am incredibly happy and satisfied with my job in a way that I never thought possible. I have found the place where I belong and I have found an amazing group of colleagues and friends as well.
When I was still at the bar (after a lot the people from my class left), I received a voicemail from Diana asking if I was driving home or if I was still there, or if I was okay...and she said that she wanted to know that I was all right, or that she'd worry about me. Then around midnight I received a text from Edgar saying "I hope you are ok. I should have stayed" and another one around 1:00, Samantha texted me and said "Are you okay?" They are awesome. Each and every one of them. I can't believe how much I have come to care for all of them in such a short time. I didn't even know these people at Christmas or New Year's...and now they are so important in my life.
I think that's all for now. Unfortunately I have a pretty bad sore throat this morning and I have a feeling it's the beginning of a cold. But here's to a relaxing, rainy day of hanging out in sweats, a long-sleeved t-shirt and my messy hair pulled back by a headband. I plan on catching up on all of the TV shows I missed over the past week (working on our trade show and studying for the 3-hour final exam!), and maybe going to CVS later to get some meds. Other than that, I've got nothing but that's fine with me. I'm content to just sit back and relax. It was a long, challenging, and wonderful eight weeks.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Talk is Cheap
I know I've mentioned this before, but it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. Interesting conversations. A mug of coffee. Laughter. Trekking to the bar with a friend, collecting snowflakes in our hair. A comfy couch. Warm pajamas. All of the above.
On Friday they let us leave training at 2:30 because the snow was coming down like crazy. All day long I contemplated whether or not to attempt the drive home or to stay over a friend's house. My friend Diana (from training) lives fairly close by in Middletown, and she convinced me to stay over. The whole night was honestly a bit like a sleepover, and very relaxing. Mostly because we didn't have to be anywhere, and we could just sit. And talk. Diana made us tea when we first arrived at her place and then we talked cross-legged on her couch, pet her cat, watched TV, and talked some more until dinnertime. We bundled up in layers and walked a few blocks to Eli's, stomping through snow. Over dinner we held more in-depth conversations about our past, observations we've made, experiences we've had over the years and just life stories in general. I loved it. To me, one of the most fascinating things in the world is learning about the defining experiences that make a person who they are.
After we got home from the bar, she lent me some pajamas (and an Army sweatshirt), I threw my hair up in a messy ponytail, we sipped sake (that was my first time trying it!), watched a movie and eventually went to sleep. Yesterday morning was a lot of the same--we talked, shared stories, watched part of "The Amityville Horror" and discussed our views on the paranormal. We discovered that we would both love to become published writers for different reasons, and we sipped coffee from purple mugs. I don't know if I've ever had that much fun being snowed in somewhere before.
Yesterday afternoon I ventured over to Angela's to continue my talking and coffee lovefest. We ordered paninis and vanilla chai at a cute cafe and talked for over an hour and a half about a variety of subjects. Angela and I never run out of things to say to each other despite having known each other for over ten years now, and I love that about our friendship. I think that even with good, well-established friendships, there is always an opportunity to learn something new about someone, especially if you are willing to actively listen. There's a difference between nodding your head and saying "uh-huh" and truly becoming engaged in the conversation.
It's funny because we were talking about how we both have the constant desire to be *productive* all the time, and Ange mentioned that she wanted to develop more hobbies. I didn't realize it fully yesterday, but one of my favorite hobbies (besides writing, reading, and editing) is listening. I just had one of the best weekends in a long time because I was able to do just that. Don't get me wrong--I definitely enjoy talking and laughing myself, but when it comes down to it, I like being the important person on the other side of the conversation. I love validating people's feelings, showing them that I understand...or if I can't truly understand, that I can at least imagine why they are feeling the way they feel.
Friendships + coffee + listening= love. It's as simple as that.
On Friday they let us leave training at 2:30 because the snow was coming down like crazy. All day long I contemplated whether or not to attempt the drive home or to stay over a friend's house. My friend Diana (from training) lives fairly close by in Middletown, and she convinced me to stay over. The whole night was honestly a bit like a sleepover, and very relaxing. Mostly because we didn't have to be anywhere, and we could just sit. And talk. Diana made us tea when we first arrived at her place and then we talked cross-legged on her couch, pet her cat, watched TV, and talked some more until dinnertime. We bundled up in layers and walked a few blocks to Eli's, stomping through snow. Over dinner we held more in-depth conversations about our past, observations we've made, experiences we've had over the years and just life stories in general. I loved it. To me, one of the most fascinating things in the world is learning about the defining experiences that make a person who they are.
After we got home from the bar, she lent me some pajamas (and an Army sweatshirt), I threw my hair up in a messy ponytail, we sipped sake (that was my first time trying it!), watched a movie and eventually went to sleep. Yesterday morning was a lot of the same--we talked, shared stories, watched part of "The Amityville Horror" and discussed our views on the paranormal. We discovered that we would both love to become published writers for different reasons, and we sipped coffee from purple mugs. I don't know if I've ever had that much fun being snowed in somewhere before.
Yesterday afternoon I ventured over to Angela's to continue my talking and coffee lovefest. We ordered paninis and vanilla chai at a cute cafe and talked for over an hour and a half about a variety of subjects. Angela and I never run out of things to say to each other despite having known each other for over ten years now, and I love that about our friendship. I think that even with good, well-established friendships, there is always an opportunity to learn something new about someone, especially if you are willing to actively listen. There's a difference between nodding your head and saying "uh-huh" and truly becoming engaged in the conversation.
It's funny because we were talking about how we both have the constant desire to be *productive* all the time, and Ange mentioned that she wanted to develop more hobbies. I didn't realize it fully yesterday, but one of my favorite hobbies (besides writing, reading, and editing) is listening. I just had one of the best weekends in a long time because I was able to do just that. Don't get me wrong--I definitely enjoy talking and laughing myself, but when it comes down to it, I like being the important person on the other side of the conversation. I love validating people's feelings, showing them that I understand...or if I can't truly understand, that I can at least imagine why they are feeling the way they feel.
Friendships + coffee + listening= love. It's as simple as that.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Idol Chatter
Can I just say that I absolutely heart David Archuleta on American Idol? Oh my God he is so lovable. I want to SCRUNCH HIM UP! Okay, that is all.
I don't have a lot of energy to expend on writing a real post tonight because I am exhausted. However, due to the incessant whining I've been hearing from a few of my colleagues (ahem, Samantha and Alan "Ace") these past couple of days, I thought I would give it a shot. APPARENTly people have actually been checking this site recently and have proved despondent over the fact that the last post was about lullabies and it was written more than a week ago. So, fine. Here is the amazing life of...Tarabyte. Yes, I did really just say Tarabyte. During the second week of training, we learned that one of Aetna's databases houses 16 terrabytes of information. This, of course, lead to me chomping at the air all the while proclaiming that "I bite," which then lead to the nickname permanently affixing itself to...myself. Quite endearing. I was about to give a presentation the other day and our head instructor looked up at me and said, "Ready, Tarabyte?" Seriously.
Anyway, other than the nickname, I am still loving my job. But I know, that's not inherently interesting to any of you out there reading this and frankly I don't feel like going into details of my daily life there only because it would turn out to be this one enormous run-on sentence that would probably take you an entire day to READ and an entire day for me to write, kind of like this one but with a more emphatic and excited tone. That's how much I love my job. Which is great, it really is. But dull to read about...we'll save it for a conversation over martinis, shall we?
In non-job related news (hmm this might be difficult), this past week I:
1. Started going to the gym AND on our elliptical machine. Go me!
2. Broke out in a crazy facial rash that itched, burned and turned various shades of red before receding. Ew, that sounds really gross. Anyway, it was merely an allergic reaction to Clean and Clear facewash. Nothing contagious.
3. Hung out with Mom and Dad!!! Always a wonderful time. We went to the Book Barn and had lunch (with Jeff, too, of course).
4. Became addicted to Kate Nash and constantly had one of her song lyrics buzzing around in my head while attempting to "populate" an RFP. Oops, work talk. But really, how can you not love a song with the title "Pumpkin Soup"?
5. Had an amazing dinner at Lupo with Megan and Lily.
6. Gave advice to a friend who was going through a hard time.
Whew, and you wonder why I don't have a ton of energy to post a blog entry on a daily basis. There you have it, folks. My life in a nutshell...as fascinating as it may be. Be back soon--or as soon as I feel like it!
Anyway, other than the nickname, I am still loving my job. But I know, that's not inherently interesting to any of you out there reading this and frankly I don't feel like going into details of my daily life there only because it would turn out to be this one enormous run-on sentence that would probably take you an entire day to READ and an entire day for me to write, kind of like this one but with a more emphatic and excited tone. That's how much I love my job. Which is great, it really is. But dull to read about...we'll save it for a conversation over martinis, shall we?
In non-job related news (hmm this might be difficult), this past week I:
1. Started going to the gym AND on our elliptical machine. Go me!
2. Broke out in a crazy facial rash that itched, burned and turned various shades of red before receding. Ew, that sounds really gross. Anyway, it was merely an allergic reaction to Clean and Clear facewash. Nothing contagious.
3. Hung out with Mom and Dad!!! Always a wonderful time. We went to the Book Barn and had lunch (with Jeff, too, of course).
4. Became addicted to Kate Nash and constantly had one of her song lyrics buzzing around in my head while attempting to "populate" an RFP. Oops, work talk. But really, how can you not love a song with the title "Pumpkin Soup"?
5. Had an amazing dinner at Lupo with Megan and Lily.
6. Gave advice to a friend who was going through a hard time.
Whew, and you wonder why I don't have a ton of energy to post a blog entry on a daily basis. There you have it, folks. My life in a nutshell...as fascinating as it may be. Be back soon--or as soon as I feel like it!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
This may seem silly, but occasionally when I am home by myself, I like to put on this beautiful CD called "Global Lullabies" by Freyda Epstein. It's a collection of lullabies from around the world in various languages, and it is the most calming music you'll ever hear. I have a particular favorite entitled "Shaker Medley." The lyrics and melody are simple but they are soothing and sweet which sometimes is exactly what I need after a long day.
The first time I encountered this CD was when I worked as a toddler teacher at Bright Horizons. One of the aspects of our center's mission was to teach children about different cultures and have them embrace whatever characteristics made them special. I can remember many an afternoon rubbing the little toddlers' backs as they fell asleep to this music at naptime...little Talia whose ponytail would be splayed across her blotchy cheek, Jonathan (Jon-Jon) who would sometimes wake up in a panic-stricken nightmare and need to be rocked back to sleep, and Rishi, one of my favorites, who would sprawl out all over his cot...and usually end up in a pool of drool. Their innocence always moved me. No matter how hectic my day was, or how crazy they were acting before their naps, you couldn't stay angry looking at their beautiful faces and listening to that CD. I loved each and every one of them in my own special way.
I just did a bit of research on my favorite song which turns out to be a Shaker hymn:
"Love is Little" comes from South Union, Kentucky, ca. 1834; its words are "Love is little, love is low/Love will make my spirit grow/Grow in peace, grow in light/Love will do the thing that's right," expressing in its mild simplicity the Shakers' abiding belief in humble faith and fellowship, rejecting the excessively charismatic preaching and apocalyptic prophesizing common in that age of religious reform and zealotry.
The entire lyrics, from what I can gather (the whole song is nowhere to be found on the internet!) are:
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Grow in peace
Grow in light
Love will do the thing that's right.
Grow in peace
Grow in light
Love will do the thing that's right.
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
I have a little nogan filled with love, sweet love, love
Mama sent me here with it
To feed her simple doves
It is sweet, it is sweet
It is very, very sweet
Chick, chick, chick, chick
Pretty chicks,
Come and eat...
Then the Chorus repeats again.
It's beautiful. It really is. I highly suggest it for children...or for adults.
The first time I encountered this CD was when I worked as a toddler teacher at Bright Horizons. One of the aspects of our center's mission was to teach children about different cultures and have them embrace whatever characteristics made them special. I can remember many an afternoon rubbing the little toddlers' backs as they fell asleep to this music at naptime...little Talia whose ponytail would be splayed across her blotchy cheek, Jonathan (Jon-Jon) who would sometimes wake up in a panic-stricken nightmare and need to be rocked back to sleep, and Rishi, one of my favorites, who would sprawl out all over his cot...and usually end up in a pool of drool. Their innocence always moved me. No matter how hectic my day was, or how crazy they were acting before their naps, you couldn't stay angry looking at their beautiful faces and listening to that CD. I loved each and every one of them in my own special way.
I just did a bit of research on my favorite song which turns out to be a Shaker hymn:
"Love is Little" comes from South Union, Kentucky, ca. 1834; its words are "Love is little, love is low/Love will make my spirit grow/Grow in peace, grow in light/Love will do the thing that's right," expressing in its mild simplicity the Shakers' abiding belief in humble faith and fellowship, rejecting the excessively charismatic preaching and apocalyptic prophesizing common in that age of religious reform and zealotry.
The entire lyrics, from what I can gather (the whole song is nowhere to be found on the internet!) are:
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Grow in peace
Grow in light
Love will do the thing that's right.
Grow in peace
Grow in light
Love will do the thing that's right.
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
Love is little, love is low
Love will make my spirit grow...
I have a little nogan filled with love, sweet love, love
Mama sent me here with it
To feed her simple doves
It is sweet, it is sweet
It is very, very sweet
Chick, chick, chick, chick
Pretty chicks,
Come and eat...
Then the Chorus repeats again.
It's beautiful. It really is. I highly suggest it for children...or for adults.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)