"On another note, have you considered working for us? You have a very good and caring approach that I think would help lots of people. Think about it." I received this email on Friday afternoon from my Weight Watchers leader, Katie. She has been an incredible inspiration to me this past year because of her uplifting attitude, her positive words of encouragement, her empathetic nature...and the fact that she acts human and is willing to share her mistakes with a roomful of people. (She once admitted to eating an entire package of Fig Newtons after a stressful day). This isn't the first time she has asked me to consider being a leader, either. A few months ago she handed me a postcard regarding training information, and although I was flattered, I stuffed it into my bag, mentioned it in passing to Jeff and my parents, and then completely forgot about it until her recent email.
Now that I have reached my goal, I am eligible to become a leader and I have decided it's something worth looking into for the future. Throughout my life, I have never really been a leader. I was never the person in the group to raise her hand confidently, or to saunter to the front of the class in order to give a presentation. In fact, for the most part I would sit towards the side of the classroom in the hopes that I could camoflauge myself against the wall. This changed gradually in college after my English 105 T.A. told me that my writing was excellent but that she wished I would speak up and share my ideas with the rest of the class. I didn't immediately follow her advice that semester, but over the course of my four years at UConn, I became more comfortable with my knowledge in my major field. As I began taking Irish Lit., Journalism and Creative Writing courses, I heard her voice in my head and often participated and shared my opinions, if somewhat timidly.
I have gained a lot of confidence in my 20s, but I've still never really seen myself as a teacher. Even when I was student teaching fourth grade and loving every minute of it, something in the back of my head was always murmuring "You can't really do this...you're shy...you wouldn't have good classroom management skills..." even though everyone else--from my students to my cooperating teachers and my friends--thought that I would be great ("you have so much patience," "you are so good with kids".) So when I finally received my K-6 Certification, I attempted to find a teaching job for a few months (I applied to 54 positions) but when nothing came of it, I quickly resorted back to my English degree because it provided me with a comfort zone. I could return to writing, editing and playing a role behind the scenes as opposed to taking stage front and center, where people would look to me to make the right decisions and show them the way.
Despite all this, though, I have always wanted to make a difference. I remember when I first mentioned becoming a leader to my Dad in passing a few months ago, I had said "But I don't think I would really consider it", and he questioned me: "Why not? You wouldn't want to make a difference in people's lives?" which made me think for a moment but we ended up changing the subject and discussing something else. But come to think of it, I do want to help people. I want to have the opportunity to say "I've been there. What can I do for you? How can I help?" because that is at the core of my identity: a genuine interest in people and their well-being. Concern for those who might need a little prodding. Ears for those who just need someone to listen to them. It might honestly be a perfect fit for me, after all.
2 comments:
Tara, You would be such a great leader! You would literally be changing someone's life. Do it! I'll come to your meetings!
You would be a fantastic leader; I would definitely consider it if I were you, but don't wear yourself out with too many occupations!
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