Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Today in training, they officially split us into our two designated groups: the ten Sales Consultants in one room, the four Information Consultants in the other. I felt like I was on "Survivor." Come to think of it, I want an Information Consultant buff to wear (preferably in a pretty aquamarine blue or jungle green shade). In the first two and a half weeks, we've completed the industry overview and Aetna product line as a class and so for the next five and a half weeks we're focusing our efforts on our specific job responsibilities as SCs and ICs. This may sound a bit ridiculous, but I felt kind of sad about the separation. I've come to respect each and every one of my classmates, and I truly look forward to seeing them every day. Going from a class of fourteen to a class of four is somewhat of a shock. I already miss the general banter, witty responses and engaging conversations that have consistently taken place in our "homeroom." We've spent about 100 hours together there since January 14th, and I've already created so many wonderful memories and experiences with these people...I guess I'm just not ready to let it all go so soon. (Obviously they are going to be right across the hall, but the fact that we will no longer be experiencing new subjects or programs together kind of hit me.)

As I packed up my nametag, various binders, notebooks and pens to move next door, I realized that the reason Ididn't see this coming is because I hadn't looked ahead on my training syllabus. I guess I was just happy-go-lucky and figured that we would continue to experience presentations, participate in activities and brainstorm together. I had gradually gotten comfortable with the setting--had picked out a favorite seat in the lecture classroom, loved my seating situation in the computer lab, and was overall just starting to feel like I fit and now I'm being moved. I know it doesn't really seem that drastic, but my happiness has been hard to surpass these past few weeks and I'm just hoping that the training will continue to exceed my expectations. So far it has been one of the most positive work experiences I've ever had. And I feel like I've made some very good friends out of the deal as well.

The good news is, yesterday I had my first informal evaluation with the four trainers. They said that I am doing "a fantastic job" and that they were very happy with my quiz scores (a 90.6 on the first one and a 92.4 on the second). The cool thing about the trainers is, most of them are in their late twenties or in their thirties, so it really is similar to talking to a colleague. They are professional and respectable, but also have a young and interesting edge that separates them from the usual manager type. I find myself responding really well to them, and I'm looking forward to working with them in the future. I feel so lucky to have landed in this position. I know that I deserve it, but I still can't help but feel that it's absolutely where I'm meant to be.

Wish me luck filling out my first RFI (Request for Information) tomorrow. It's an all-day task!

More updates to follow...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Ahhh, it's 7:10 p.m., the beautiful time when I can finally relax and stop thinking. This training--while I love it--does have the tendency to use up a lot of mental focus and brain power. In fact, so much so that I actually dreamed about health care plans and various medical terms last night because it's becoming so ingrained in my mind. Scary! (Although, come to think of it, there was an incredibly violent portion of my dream where I saw someone being shot execution-style in front of their house. Perhaps I should be more concerned about that? Yes, probably). Anyway. I love this time of the day. Everything is peaceful. The refrigerator is humming quietly, the heat is cranking slowly through the pipes and Jeff's not home from the gym so the TV isn't blaring with Hillary and Obama bickering (just yet). It's a nice segue from hectic to soothing.

This morning I heard the song "We Are the World" on the radio. That was my favorite song ever when I was six and I think I honestly wandered around singing it for months (my parents even have me on video singing it at Hubbard Park). It's too funny how I literally feel like I'm back in first grade as soon as I hear that song. It doesn't matter that I'm driving to work or that I'm "dressed for success" or that I'm married. The chorus belts out "There's a choice we're makin', we're savin' all our lives" and I am transported back to Meriden, Connecticut with my size 6x jeans, zip-up pink hoodie, matching pink Velcro sneakers, (fairly awful) blonde bob haircut and maybe all of eight teeth in my head, belting my little heart out. I'm grateful for the simple pleasures in life. I think I always have been. Feeding the ducks. My Care Bears lunchbox and matching thermos. The backyard turning into a frozen village after a freezing rain storm. Mom giving me ginger ale when I had a stomachache. Being allowed to stay up until 9 on the weekends and having a Pepsi. Going down the slide on my swingset.

When I have quiet time, I like to think back and reflect upon the experiences that have made me who I am. I know that I have come so far in many ways, but I also know that there are future goals I have to set. This year I have to focus on new goals to ensure that I continue to better myself...that I never become complacent or lazy in who I am. Life is how we define it, and I want to feel like I've enjoyed as many moments of as many days as possible.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Oh my God. I am going to have to officially declare myself a loser. It's 10 p.m. on a Saturday night and I am a) home alone b) listening to the 1990s music channel on TV c) online and d) the song happens to be "Step by Step" by New Kids on the Block, circa 1990-91...and for those of you who were previous fans of NKOTB, this song wasn't even cool back then! They had already jumped the shark by the time I was in sixth grade. (And the song is absolutely terrible.)

For the most part, though, this particular music channel evokes a wide variety of positive emotions in me. The 90s played such a dynamic role in my life--I guess because between the ages of 10 and 20, I established so much of who I eventually became. Whether dealing wtih braces or boyfriends or learning about love, friendship and loss, I remember listening to the radio on a daily basis and completely (melodramatically??) empathizing with the person singing the lyrics. (Example: "I Love Your Smile" by Shanice, "or, oh wait, here is an actual journal line from July 6, 1993: Oh, God! The song “Someday” by Mariah Carey is on—the one I sang all day after Matt and I broke up. You know how it goes, “Someday, the one you gave away will be the only one you’re wishin’ 4!” Well, I am. Anyway, if you haven’t already guessed, we’re goin’ out again. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like him.") Memories always have a tendency to embed themselves throughout the lyrics for me...I can't listen to certain songs without being transported back in time. It makes me smile to hear "More Than Words" by Extreme, and this afternoon Laurie, Ange and I tested out our lung power with hits by Alanis Morrisette, Matchbox 20 and Usher, to name a few.

One of my favorite music periods was during the late 90s when I was finishing my senior year at Masuk and entering UConn as a freshman. For some reason, a number of songs from this timeframe evoke a poignant sense of nostalgia every time I listen to them...some of them were probably from "Dawson's Creek," others were dorm favorites and of course many songs from 1997 remind me of high school graduation, prom, random car rides with friends, etc. Ugh. The song "Jump" by Kriss Kross just came on, making me want to retract my previous statement...oh and now "Butterfly Kisses." BARF. I'm going to sign off now.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I love training. I feel like I am finally where I need to be, career-wise, at Aetna. Everyone in my "class" (there are 14 of us) is bright, proactive and motivated to do well in order to achieve personal success. We've held brainstorming sessions, given brief presentations and listened to various lectures, and I can honestly say that I haven't felt this productive or positive in months. I have learned an incredible amount of information in two days, and at times it is overwhelming (last night I fell asleep on the couch at 9 p.m.) but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. It's certainly an intensive classroom environment, and we are all expected to play an active role in the dialogue--both by participating when one of the trainers or presenters poses a question or topic, as well as by raising questions ourselves when we are unsure of an acronym or health care term. After completing grad school, I never thought I wanted to be in a classroom setting again, but this is different because my entire career lies ahead of me, and the foundation for my future basically begins with these next eight weeks.

Yesterday when we were moving from our original meeting place in the lobby area to the training classroom, we took an escalator. Halfway up the escalator, I smiled to myself because 1) I was wearing a cute suit from Ann Taylor Loft; 2) I had a hot vanilla coffee in my hand; and 3) because I was at Aetna and I had worked very hard to get there. That pretty much sums up my emotions so far this week. I feel accomplished. Out of the 14 people in my class, 10 were hired as sales consultants and 4 of us were hired as information consultants (I will be an IC). The Sales Manager gave us some interesting stats: they received 239 resumes, of those 239, 49 received a first interview and only 20% of that final number were hired. I know I shouldn't be bragging about those numbers but I honestly just feel proud of myself, and I had to share. I think I am usually fairly modest, but I don't think I've ever worked this hard for a position or wanted it so badly before. I am looking forward to the next 38 work days!!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Of course...

There is going to be a blizzard on my first day. Just because so far January has been pleasant and sunny and the days have been beautiful and walkable even. I'm not a neurotic person by nature, but I am definitely looking forward to making a great first impression tomorrow...oh, wait. I just realized that there is one thing that I am a tiny bit neurotic about, and that is punctuality. Training at Aetna begins at 7:45 a.m. My commute will be between 40-45 minutes on a good day, but add 6-8 inches of snow to that mix and you're looking at a few hours. So. If I wake up at 5 a.m. I should be good to go. All right! Nothing like starting a new job with that hanging over your head...and my car just hit the 160,000 mile marker. Gaaahhhhh!!!!

Okay, this is boring and basically just a rant that belongs in my head. Sorry.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I will be a career girl soon. (Envision a cute suit, sleek ponytail, heels, portfolios, RFPs, me chewing ever so slightly on the end of my pen as I narrow my eyes and contemplate just the perfect phrase to complete the narrative response). My writing career has arrived and all is right with the world. Well, all is right with my world, anyway. I have been striving for this moment for as long as I can remember, and I am really proud of myself for achieving success at last. Two challenging interviews, tons of company research, and a five page paper on consumerism in healthcare later, I received an official offer and will start my new position on the 14th. I'm very excited about entering corporate America. Last January I had written down some goals and ideas regarding my career path (in a stream-of-consciousness fashion) because I knew I wouldn't stay in the non-profit sector forever. It's interesting to see what a difference a year can make:

"I need to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s seriously been bothering me for the past couple of months. I feel restless…and uneasy…and worried that I am not going to amount to much of anything. I mean how do we end up where we are, career-wise? I want to be a writer. However, writing is not a feasible full-time option. I am more than willing to begin writing every day in the hopes that someday I will be able to freelance…or finish the young adult novel that I so enthusiastically started. But what am I going to DO to make a difference? Where am I going to be in five years? I hate not knowing the answers. I’m 27 and I really wish I was more on the career path that I had imagined myself on—being an associate editor or a proofreader or a writer somewhere, anywhere. I guess I’m just waiting for something to happen…which is not very proactive of me. I am determined to change my job within the next year…and I’m looking forward to a fresh start."

And here we are in 2008, and I will be enjoying my fresh start. I have to give major thanks to my dad for always telling me to write down my goals and focus on them to make them happen. Despite the fact that finding the perfect job occasionally took more time and effort than I was willing to give, the outcome is well worth it. I also want to thank my mom, Jeff, the rest of my family and friends for their constant support and encouragement. Thank you for believing in me, and for believing in my abilities. I don't think that I would be where I am today without the positive thoughts, phone calls and emails. There were days when I honestly thought that I didn't have the talent or the intelligence to obtain such a professional position, and I appreciate those who reassured me otherwise. I know now that I have it in me; that I am smart enough to take on a new and interesting challenge. I'm looking forward to reporting on what I learn during this next step.

Until then...